When I joke they take it seriously. When I am serious they take it as a joke..
People say laughter is the best medicine. Your face must be curing the world.
I miss your smile but I miss my own even more.
I like crazy people, especially those who don’t see the risk.
The only reason I am fat is because a tiny body couldn’t store all this personality.
Someday somewhere somehow me & you will be together.
Eight letters, three words, one regret. I miss you.
Doing the moonwalk is the only way to look cool while wiping dog crap off your shoes.
Money can’t buy happiness, but it pays for internet, which is pretty much the same thing.
When life gets tough, remember: You were the strongest sperm.
Can I take your picture?? I love to collect pictures of natural disasters.
When you’re good, you’re good, when you’re awesome you’re me.
That ‘Awesome moment’, when you see someone’s status,and you know it’s aimed at you 🙂
I really need a day in between Saturday and Sunday.
Relationship Status: Looking for a WiFi connection.
I feel lazier than the guy who drew the Japanese flag.
Sometimes all you need is love. Lol, just kidding, you need money. :’).
The difference between pizza and your opinion is that I asked for pizza.
I’m jealous of my parents, i’ll never have a kid as cool as theirs.
Life is like a beautiful melody, only the lyrics are messed up
God is really creative, i mean..just look at me.
Justin Bieber was arrested this morning for using men’s toilet.
One day, I’m gonna make the onions cry.
I hope life isn’t a big joke, because I don’t get it
Best conversations always happen late in the night.
That feeling when you enter to a store & they play your favorite song
I hate when I am about to hug someone really sexy and my face hits the mirror.
Its awesome .. when some one understands u more than u..!
The zoo is a pretty safe place to fart.
Dear iPhone, Please stop changing my rude words into nice ones. You piece of shut.
Yes, I agree. Mums can find everything. Except for the ringing phone in their bags!
Life is a mirror and will reflect back to the thinker what he thinks into it.
The only reason god made cousins so that parents can compare our marks.
The best thing about a picture is that it never changes even when the people in it do.
I still miss him, I miss him, I’m missing him.
Today morning when I was driving my Ferrari, the alarm woke me up.
May I go to the toilet = I’m fucking bored.
I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.
Remember, there are two words in life that will open a lot of doors for you. Push and Pull.
I’m not single, I’m just romantically challenged.
Don’t like me? Cool, I don’t wake up every day to impress you.
That Amazing Moment.. When YOu DrOp YOur PhOne.. But, The HeadphOnes Save Its Life.. ^_-
Behind my smile is everything you’ll never understand.
The funniest thing in class is when the teacher cracks a joke and no one laughs.
The only normal people you know are the ones you don’t know very well.
Oooooh, thats a bit too harsh. Let me put a ‘lol’ at the end of it.
Was going to rob a bank today but the pen was chained to the desk.
Those who say money can’t buy happiness are shopping at the wrong places.
I want some one to give me a Loan and then leave me Alone.
Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!
The annoying moment when the TV commercials are so long that you forget what you’re watching.
I don’t want to earn my living, I want to live.
Honesty is the best gift you can give.
Our language is called the mother tongue because the father never gets a chance to Speak.
Before talking; Please connect the tongue to the brain!
I don’t always lose my phone but when I do its always on silent.